i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he just fucked me for my cheese.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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