I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
