Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
