Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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