I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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