He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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