They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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