So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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