i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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