apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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