I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
