We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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