Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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