What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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