Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
