I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize