It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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