so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
