Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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