According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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