I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize