I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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