Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
