I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't turn off my feet"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
