"it" just moved
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
