I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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