So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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