Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
