We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
