His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She's the barista slut.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
