She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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