just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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