he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize