i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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