you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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