I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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