I look better un-naked...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
