what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
