oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I look better un-naked...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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