Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize