I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
