I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
