i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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