this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
