i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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