dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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