So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
