i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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