even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
