i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
