Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
