Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
