just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
