come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
