I'm gonna have a badass scar
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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