Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
