just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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