help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
