dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
