stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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