When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize