Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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