ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Please, let me fuck your mom
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
