True but thats because hes a fetus.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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